Black Canvas
by frizzle1872
Summary: After the attack on Grady Memorial, Carol was left alone and devastated with baby Judith. At the age of five, our journey begins, watching as Carol and Judith are left living in the post apocalyptic world together, with Carol being haunted by past thoughts and actions, and Judith being left behind by everyone she has known and loved, and the only person she can depend on, is broken


**A\N Hello, all! Wow, I haven't written in nearly over a year or so xD Haha, anywho, howsit hangin'? Good? Good.**

**Now, I wanted to explain my thought process behind this a little bit. As you may or may not know, Carol is my favorite Walking Dead character. She's complex, dynamic, an emotional arc, and extremely powerful and interesting. **

**And considering all that has happened to her, Ed, Sophia, Karen, David, Lizzie, and Mika, I thought, how interesting would it be if Carol was isolated with Judith and left alone to survive together? So, that is what this is, haha! So, this will basically be exploring Carol's journey as she has to nurture a young child by herself and how the entire world as affected her.**

**Every chapter will be a new year, and yes, we will be seeing familiar faces, and, so far I have about two pairings set up :D Okay, so, let's get started! Please review and tell me what you think!**

**Enjoy! :)**

_Five years old_

Carol winced as her arm was being tugged down sharply. It hadn't healed right since she and him were in Atlanta, trying to find Beth, trying to save someone that just ended up biting the dust a couple of days later. Her arm was being tugged again and Carol finally tore her eyes away from the broken and cracked city road to the little girl with a wide grin and freckles by her side.

"'Wanna swing 'again!" She demanded.

Carol shook her head, pushing herself and the girl forward. "No. I already swung you two times. My arm's gettin' tired."

The little one pouted, sticking out her lower pink lip, and looked at Carol with big, pleading brown eyes. For a moment, all Carol could see were Lori's big brown eyes.

_Carol, please don't tell Rick. 'Least not yet. I'll 'im. I will._

Carol's eyes narrowed slightly and she shook her head once again. "No, Judith. We gotta keep movin'."

"But I wanna swing!"

"_Judith Marie Grimes._" Carol said, her voice hardening. Carol didn't know if Marie really _was_ Judith's middle name. If she had one, Rick never told her, and she didn't think Rick, wherever he was, would appreciate it if Carol called her Judith 'Lil' Asskicker' Grimes. She stopped walking and crouched to Judith's level, so her clear blue eyes were level and boring into Judith's. "You are not swingin' again. End of story. Clear?"

"But I wanna-"

"Am I clear?" Carol asked again, the warning clear as day in her voice.

Judith lowered her head, causing her brown curls to tumble forward. "Yes, ma'am."

Carol nodded. "Good. Now let's keep movin'." She straightened up again and took Judith's small, soft hand into her rough and calloused ones and kept moving forward, her eyes trained back onto the road. The pair were enveloped in a silence except for the constant hum of walker groans and Judith's small feet scuffing the road as she refused to pick them up.

"You ain't no fun, Carol." Judith piped up, suddenly, catching the older woman off guard. Carol glanced down at Judith who had a deep frown on her face and she let something of a smile ghost onto her lips.

"It's 'You aren't any fun, Carol." Carol corrected. "And I'm not tryin' to be fun, Judith. I'm tryin' to keep you safe. I can't be fun and responsible at the same time, okay?"

"I bet Daddy was fun." Judith mumbled.

Carol's eyes glanced to Judith sadly before she looked back to the road. "Your Daddy was fun." Carol remembered with a slight smile. "But this world changes that very quickly, and your Daddy was quick to adapt to it."

Judith just looked up at Carol and blinked. "'S my Daddy 'live?"

"I…" Carol paused. In the two and a half years she had been left alone with watching Judith, Judith had never once asked about Rick. Before, Carol would have been able to whip up some lie or some great answer, but this time, she couldn't. What could she say to a child who just wanted her father? But in all honesty, even if Carol _was_ like how she had been before, she didn't know _who_ Judith's father was. Lori didn't know, neither did Rick, and, as Carol studied the girl, all she could she was Lori from Judith's large brown eyes, chocolate brown, unruly curls, and long legs, despite her height. There wasn't a single trace of Rick nor Shane in her; just her mother.

If Shane _was_ Judith's father, then Carol could simply say no, but, if _Rick_ was her biological father, then Carol would have to say what had been itching to get off of her tongue the entire time. _I don't know. _Because she didn't. She had been safely rescued from the hospital while Beth had died from Dawn, breaking Carol's, but mostly Maggie's heart. From there, it was a blur, someone, Tyreese, if she recalled correctly, had instructed her to go back to the church with Judith, and wait it out. No one ever came back. When Carol was finally strong enough to go back to Atlanta, there were bullet holes and half-eaten, bullet-ridden bodies everywhere.

And her group was gone.

Rick was gone. Michonne was gone. Maggie, Glenn, Sasha, Tyreese, Carl, _Daryl_. All gone.

Carol went with her first choice. "I don't know, Judith."

"What 'bout my Mommy?"

"No…she's gone, too." Carol said softly, her voice gentler than it had been moments earlier.

"No she ain't!" Judith exclaimed with a giggle. "You're right here, silly goose!"

Carol's steps faltered and her face paled just slightly. "No, Judith. I ain't your Momma. I'm just Carol." Her chest was heaving, and she needed it to stop. She hadn't heard that in almost three years. She had to kill it right at the start, or Judith would just continue to call her it. Bringing back horrible, painful memories.

"But I _want _you to be my Mommy."

"Well I can't be what I'm not."

Judith's face fell and her hand slipped out of Carol's. Carol refused to show the little one that she felt bad, she instead glanced down quickly to make sure Judith was still rightfully by her side as they kept moving along, with the little one looking dejected, but Carol couldn't shake away the horrible feeling with her.

Judith had lost everyone she had ever known in one day, and she didn't even realize it. She didn't know Carl or Rick or Michonne, the people who loved her and cared for her. All she had left was Carol, a woman so broken she couldn't even play with Judith for more than a few minutes without feeling Sophia's hand or catching Lizzie's eyes, hearing Mika's giggle. Carol's eyes narrowed at the thought and she looked down at the small girl beside her with a frown. Judith wasn't her daughter, never would be, but she was a little girl, and she deserved something other than Carol putting up walls between them.

Carol sucked in a deep breath, her bottom lip being chewed on thoughtfully by her teeth, before she turned to Judith. "Do you uh, you ya wanna swing again?" She asked, her somewhat playful tone sounding almost foreign to her.

Her small face lit up and Judith snatched Carol's hand almost as quickly as she had let it go and smiled brightly. "Yeah! 'Go 'gain!"

And Carol smiled.


End file.
